A Perfect Dream

02/09: Similarities.

"You are just like my mom! Keeps everything to yourself. How do you expect things to progress as a couple, when there is no communication?"
I remembered. These words spitted out from my lips in exasperation. The similarities didn't end there. Both were good looking, independent women with strong personalities. Both loved kids to bits but are not good at maintaining sustained relationships with kids. Well, for my mom at least. For Her, I could only gauge it from her interaction with pets, her family's dog, and my cats. It is always easy for them to mother, and play with the cute little things for short periods of time. But not a sustained relationship.

"I'll have a chat with your mom. I've known her for years. She does care. She just has a problem expressing her love for the bunch of you kids." My aunt assured me.
We were having a couple of pints at the bar, when I expressed my worries about the recent turn of events in the family. I was worried about my brother's health. I was worried about the pressure and uncertainty my mom and sister-in-law were undergoing. I was worried I would have a hard time stepping into my sister's shoes to attempt to hold the family together. My sister had just relocated to Hong Kong for 2 years. It didn't help that my personal and work life was in shambles.

"Do come over more for dinner. And bring your girlfriend along." My mom said.
I could tell that she was trying to bridge the gap. It's been so many years. The distance between us could never be bridged overnight. Yet I could tell that my aunt's conversation with her was showing some results. Her conversation with me was showing some results too. I started going over to my mom's place for dinner more frequently. I could joke with my sister-in-law about some celebrity variety program on TV. And I talked to my mom about mundane stuff like the difference in prices for canned food at different supermarkets. I took an interest in her cooking and asked her about the ingredients and how she prepared dinner.
No. I did not confess to my mom that the relationship has ended. That the flat we were expecting was canceled. I remembered how lost she looked at the hospital lobby when my brother was admitted into ICU.I couldn't bear to break her heart.
"She's busy." I replied.

Funny how I used to compare Her with my mom in anger. Now, I am glad of the similarities. It helped me to see my mom in a different light. I have learned to see how strong a woman my mum is, to have gone through 2 failed marriages and the death of a spouse. I am sure this strong personality with help Her pull through the recent ordeal too.

I might not have been able to save the relationship that was close to my heart. But at least I could still work on the family relationship that I have neglected for the past thirty years.